COMIC BOOK JONES!

SOCKO

On a cool clear evening some time ago a young lad about town named Socko Jones was asked to take up a gig filling in for an injured fiddler with the famous pop music combo, "Lazy Slick & His Ralston Playboys". This "gig" took place upon the yacht of an aging Marlon Brando…The name of that yacht was "The Cracker Jack". Aboard were all manner of people and fauna celebrating a Holiday of Mr. Brando's creation, the name of the holiday itself escapes Mr. Jones at the time of this article but he does recall that it had to do with cheese.

Not ever having been on a boat before, Jones found himself feeling a little blue about the gills and had to sit out the first set of the evening.

To be continued……

Upon a cold and winterly night came into this world Gore Jones. Growing up in Brooklyn gave this boy a fine perspective of the weird, perverse and obscure tendencies of life. Being born with tattoos and piercings marked the child for ridicule. A walking canvas of horror made making friends difficult. Finding solace in the literary workings of comics and the deformities. This man child now stalks the hallowed halls of Comic Book Jones. Beware and stay clear of the moors.

GORE

TIGER	With the Tiger by your side dreams become reality. His mystique and profound ability to manipulate the very fabrics of time and space give those who are around him a sense of security and wonderment unlike anything witnessed in the known universe. According to the powers that be, the Tiger can propel small objects into the air at a speed of 14 kilometers per hour and efficiently operate a rotary phone.

.	Born from a pair of Chuck Taylor's, LBJ has come forth to change the face of the world one sucka at a time! Also beware the Lighter that he wields.	LBJ

WAFFLE	Bitten by radioactive beetles in a freak algebra accident, young Waffle Jones discovered he'd gained the ability to harness the awesome power of fractions!

	While a group of young teen surfers was gathered around a small fire on the beach to keep warm in the brisk night, they noticed something. Their attention was guided to the oceans by a beam of blinding light cutting through the dark night. Suddenly a spot near the tides started to boil. The teens were staring in awe and realized something staring to rise above the waters, it was a small child. He said, "I forgot how to swim so I'll fly over there to ya!" As he lowered himself to the sand, the teens were frozen in shock as to what they saw. The nude boy walked over leaving footprints of fire in the damp sand. He said, "Hello, I am Strange. May I wear your bikini?" The gorgeous teen said "No" and Strange said "OK." He then dug a tunnel from his questionable beach of origin to New York. He now works at Comic Book Jones and enjoys video taping chinchillas sleeping.	STRANGE

SLACKS	Slacks is by far the most mysterious of the Jones Family. Having spent most of her life as a photo journalist during the Kree/Skrull war, and working as body guard for Yvonne Craig in the 60s. She enjoys punk rock and spray painting diophantine equations onto government buildings. After her third arrest she spent time in several S.H.I.E.L.D facilities, until granted permission to work for CBJ.

	The figurehead of the Jones Family, Mama is considered by many the true brains behind the outfit. Her specialty is knives, mostly using Katanas, but she's known to carry around biochemical compounds that turn folks into kittens. Fear her..	MAMA

LUCKY	Lucky Jones, CEO. Feed me, take me for a walk, now get back to work!

The mastermind behind the Comic Book Jones Empire. She examines and dissects the inner workings of the comic book industry from her lair. Not much is known about this mysterioso except for the fact that she likes to listen to country music while cooking delicious trays of baked ziti.

SPARKEL PLENTY